So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
