mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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