Can Purell be used as lube?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
