what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
