Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
