Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
