There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
