My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
