Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
