Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
