then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i love accidental penises.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
