SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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