"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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