Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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