You really coming over, don't trick.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
