Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
