Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
