people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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