you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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