Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
