Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you traded sex for a burrito?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is the high leading the old right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
