Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
