Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
