Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
