I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I need moral support for this bender
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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