it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
