Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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