How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
