just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
