I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
