So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
