We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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