We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
