remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No subtext here. People are naked.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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