had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
