im having a threesome with these popsicles
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
