i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
