I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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