@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
