Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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