Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
