Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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