A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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