WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize