Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
