You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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