well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
