You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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