Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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