I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
