Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
